SBR asked Nick Plews of rising Anglo-French crossover thrashers, Cage Fight, to write a diary for the period from Monday 28th March to Sunday 3rd April 2022.
Day 1 – Monday
“Where am I?” I ask myself when I awake from the confusion which I loosely label as ‘sleep’. I played two gigs with Cage Fight supporting Napalm Death on the weekend, and I decided to drive to Torquay in one day, which quite frankly is a stupid idea. Five hundred miles in one day and a total of four hours sleep over two nights. My partner asks, “why are you shouting?”, to which I reply “Pardon?!”. I go to charge my work phone so I can get everything prepared for my normal person job. I manage education provision in Video Game Design, so it’s pretty cool. However, it’s at this stage I realise, whilst feeling exceptionally cool and rad, that I am indeed trying to charge the toaster. The bread I put on my work phone is not toasting. That app was a massive waste of money. This will be a sad day for me. I go to work and act as normal as possible. “Why is everyone whispering?” I ask myself. They’re not. I am therefore moderately deaf. I get through the day, albeit metaphorically trapped in a cardboard box fish tank.
Day 2 – Tuesday
“What am I?”. Only I have the answers. I ask my partner to tell me what I am though, just in case. I misjudge the timing and accidentally ask the cat. The cat doesn’t say anything to be honest, which angers me. I fill the kettle up with water from the tap. It doesn’t boil. It isn’t switched on at the plug. Nevermind. I get through the day. All I can hear are blast beats. I then go to the local rehearsal/recording studio, and I have two drum students to teach. One of them is learning a Napalm Death song – believe it or not. I start the lesson with unrivalled enthusiasm to which the student asks, “are you ok?”. I’m not. Today’s session is ‘how to play blast beats’. I can’t hear what she’s saying. I tell her that blast beats are just AC/DC beats but sped up. It works. I eat dinner afterwards. I can’t hear myself chewing. What am I?
Day 3 – Wednesday, yeah?
“Where am I?”. I go to work searching for answers. All I can hear are blast beats, but this time they’re coming from the inside. It’s an internal blast. These are the most troublesome. Now off to drum lessons again, this time it’s AC/DC’s ‘Back in Black’, but it’s ok. I’ve only heard it one billion times already. Now that’s done, I need to rehearse with another band, The Best Medicine. Oh, look someone brought beer! I go home and eat dinner. It’s homemade quiche. Quiche sort of looks like a cheesy eggy snare drum with a pastry rim. Each bite is one step closer to the end of my quiche gig. I headlined that show and got a standing ovation from the cat. She’s a big fan.
Day 4 – Thursday is Craig David’s favourite day of the week, apparently…
“?”. Last night’s rehearsal wrecked my hearing recovery. My team at work have resorted to giving up trying to communicate. I take my glasses off so I can hear them better. Someone please send help. Greggs are out of sausage rolls. I take it personally.
Day 5 – Friday, in the big drummer house
It. Is. FRIDAY. I’m feeling most joyous. I go back to Greggs to apologise to them for my outburst. It’s the morning, and I think I survived this week, possibly? How did I style it out? I’m excited for dinner later. My partner and I are off for a nice meal together. I just need to power on through the day.
I’m feeling good!
It’s 6pm now and I’m in the pub. Had a really interesting pint of something obscure. Seems to be going down well. In fact, I had two.
8pm – I’m not feeling very well at all. Ol’ Captain Steel Stomach here has finally succumbed to something. I am not invincible anymore apparently.
8:15pm – I nearly shat myself when ordering drinks. Genuinely scared. Was on the brink of something horrific. Locked myself in pub toilet. People are knocking on the door. Can they hear me weep? The internal blast beats have become real, and they wish to escape. I try to remember the Lord’s Prayer from school. Can’t get past “daily bread”. I think of the toaster.
Day 6 – S(h)aturday
Got a gig later with The Best Medicine. Oh look, it’s been cancelled due to covid. I’ll have to stay on the sofa all day then. Oh well – I haven’t shat myself so VICTORY IS MINE!!
Day 7 – Sunday
*** Cage Fight release their debut self-titled album via Candlelight/Spinefarm Records on 13 May 2022.